Irish humour... obituary of common sense

Is ‘common sense’ correctly named? It’s something we all think we have ourselves but something we often feel is lacking in others. Could those others be looking at us and thinking the same thing? Possibly, because common sense is sometimes elusive and, despite its name, often not common at all.

As we get older we tend to look around us at the new ways of the younger generation and wonder if common sense hasn’t died out completely… but then, weren’t our parents thinking the same thing about us?

Nevertheless, many people feel times have changed due to the modern concerns over political correctness, health and safety etc. That certainly seems to be the case in this very popular letter sent into BBC radio. It stuck a chord with people all over the world.

Obituary of Common Sense – read out on BBC radio

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain.

Why the early bird gets the worm.

Life isn’t always fair.

And maybe it was my fault.

Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults are in charge not children).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of an 8-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common sense finally gave up the will to live, after a women failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common sense was preceded in death by…

His parents, Truth and Trust.

His wife, Discretion.

His daughter, Responsibility.

His son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:

I Know My Rights.

I Want My Rights.

I Want It Now.

I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on if not, join the majority and do nothing.

* * *

* * *
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
* * *
Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
~ Joel Goodman
* * *
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
* * *

* * *
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we All believe that we are above average drivers.
* * *

* * *
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
* * *
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* * *

* * *
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
* * *
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
* * *