There’s no one single recipe for a good joke. They come in all shapes and sizes from snappy one liners to rambling old shaggy dog stories.
These are some of our favourite jokes covering a wide cross-section of styles.
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Two elderly ladies met for the first time since school.
One asked the other: “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?”
“Oh yes” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, my third to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
Her friend asked: “What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?”
“One for the money, two for the show. Three to get ready and four to go.”
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When you phone a wrong number it’s never engaged.
~ Roy Walker
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How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
He’s Dublin over with laughter!
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I hate name droppers. I just said that to the Duke of Edinburgh this morning on the phone.
~ Frank Carson
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Bloody Fluke
All along the pier there were fishermen hauling in fish.
Among them was a young schoolboy fishing with a bent pin and a ball of string.
Beside him was a fish weighing over 10 kilos.
His mate came down to the pier and asked him about his catch: “What kind of fish is it, Mike?”
“I don’t know, but that fellow over there told me it was a bloody fluke.”
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After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly, then said: “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H… I, J, K.”
She asks: “What does that mean?”
He said: “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey.”
She smiled happily and said: “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”
He said: “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen… but it will get better.
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In Ireland we have the best sense of humour on the planet and it comes natural to us.
There’s a good reason for that.
There’s none of us the full shilling.
~ Brendan Grace
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