Irish humour… excuses

Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling

How to avoid a fine joke Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Excuse if you fall asleep at work:
“This is just a 15 minute power nap like they encouraged on the time management course you sent me to.”

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Kevin was getting irat Irish joke Image copyright Ireland Calling

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One night, Mrs Curran answers the door and her husband’s best friend, Patrick, is standing outside.
“Hello Patrick, where’s my husband? He went with you to the beer factory.”
“Ah, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of stout and drowned.”
Mrs Curran cried “Oh my dear, did he at least go quickly?”
Patrick shakes his head. “Oh dear me no – he got out 3 times to pee!”

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Irish joke I'm not late Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Liam was reading the morning newspaper and was shocked to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Mike.
“Did you see the paper?” asked Liam. “They say I died!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Mike. “Where are you calling from?”

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Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the good news?”
“You’ve got 24 hours to live.”
He says: “What’s the bad news?”
The doctor says: “We should have told you yesterday.”
Frank Carson

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Born free, but now I'm expensive Image copyright Ireland Calling

 

 

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Excuses for not handing in homework;
“I didn’t do my history homework because I don’t believe in dwelling on the past.”

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“My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don’t worry, they have been suitably punished.

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Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Humour Irish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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Did you know?

Singing Cork barman has fans across the world - a video of the Irish music loving barman singing while he poured a pint went viral as people became enchanted by his easy going style and great voice. Check out his video.

Have you heard about…

Irish people warned about the ‘Celtic curse’ - a potentially deadly blood condition, that harms the liver, heart and pancreas, has been labelled the ‘Celtic Curse’ because more people in Ireland are prone to it than people from other countries. Find out more.

What about this…

‘Irish giant’ Tom Crean was one of the bravest and toughest explorers of the early part of the 20th century. Thanks to his positivity and faith, he managed to not only survive horrific conditions but also save the lives of his colleagues. Find out more.

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