Irish humour... arguments

Arguments enter every walk of life and every relationship so they provide a plentiful supply of jokes.

Sometimes the humour comes from a scathing criticism or a brilliant comeback – but often the comedy simply comes from the silliness of the dispute.

With each generation tending to repeat the same arguments, comedians should should have no shortage of material for the future.

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“I can’t take it anymore, it’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!” says a man to his friend.

“Don’t you mean ‘hysterical’?” asked his friend.

“No, I mean historical, every argument we have, she’ll go, ‘I still remember that time when you…’”

* * *

I used to think intelligent couples had smarter arguments. But in the end, we all argue about things like missing socks.

~ Patrick Kielty

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Light travels faster than sound, so some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* * *

It wouldn’t be fair to have a battle of wits with my husband. He’s completely unarmed.

* * *

A couple were driving down a country road and had just had an argument.

Now neither were speaking – they were both unwilling to make up.

As they passed a field of donkeys, cows and pigs – the husband asked sarcastically: “Relatives of yours?”

“Yes” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

* * *

After having an argument with his wife, the husband tries to make peace.

“Why don’t you meet me halfway?” he says.

“I’ll admit you’re wrong if you admit I’m right.”

* * *

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