Irish humour… Halloween

Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Halloween was confusing.
All my life my parents said: “Never take candy from strangers.”
And then they dressed me up and said: “Go beg for it.”
I didn’t know what to do.
I’d knock on people’s doors and go: “Trick or treat… no thank you.”
~ Rita Rudner
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
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Pat: “What is Dracula’s favourite circus act?”
Mike: “Tell me.”
Pat: “He always goes for the juggler!”
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
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Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
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Two monsters went to a party. One said, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss
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Pat: “What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit?”
Mike: “I have no idea.”
Pat: “A necktarine!”
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Scarespray!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Sykes Irish cottages

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* * *
What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.
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What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin goblin.
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Halloween jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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