* * *
Murphy didn’t like spending money so he always checked the cost.
“How much to pull a tooth?” he asked the dentist.
“That’ll be 50 euros!”
“What?” says Murphy. “But it will only take you a few minutes.”
“I can make it last an hour if you prefer.”
* * *
* * *
What’s the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg?
You let the rottweiler finish.
~ Frank Carson
* * *
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
* * *
* * *
Pete had a problem getting up in the morning and was always late for work.
His boss was mad at him and said he was on his last warning.
So Pete went to his doctor who gave him some pills to take before bed.
He slept well and beat the alarm in the morning by a whole hour.
When he arrived at work, he said: “Boss, the pill actually worked!”
“That’s great” said his boss “but where were you yesterday?”
* * *
* * *
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!
* * *
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