Irish humour… doctors

Irish jokes about doctors. Image copyright Ireland Calling

We all have concerns about our health care from time to time which is perhaps why it makes such a good source for humour.
We can easily identify with the concerns expressed in jokes about aches and pains, lotions and potions, and even matters of life and death.
It means that no matter how serious or painful a medical condition might be, there’s likely to be joke about it. These are some of our favourite medical stories from Ireland and around the world.
Irish jokes about doctors. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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A man goes to his doctor: “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?”
The doctor says: “Try this test to find out for sure.
“When your wife is in the kitchen, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question.
“If she doesn’t reply keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.”
The man goes home and his wife is preparing dinner.
He stands fifteen feet behind her and says: “What’s for dinner, honey?”
No answer, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.
Still no response, so he moves to five feet. still no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says: “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
She replies: “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
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The last show I did, I had a 10 minute routine about homeopathy.
I don’t have any homeopathy jokes in this year’s show because if I dilute my homeopathic material it will become much more powerful.
And if you got that, you’re a nerd.
~ Dara O’Briain
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Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
The ultrasound people.
~ David O’Doherty
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Ever since her accident my mam spends all day just looking through the window.
I want to let her in but my sisters are having none of it.
~ Ardal O’Hanlon
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The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him.
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Mike had a problem getting up in the morning – he was always late for work.
His boss said he was on his last warning.
So Mike went to his doctor who gave him some pills to take before bed.
He slept well and beat the alarm in the morning by a whole hour.
When he arrived at work, he said: “Boss, the pills actually worked!”
“That’s great” said his boss, “but where were you yesterday?”
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Laughing is the best medicine, but if you’re laughing for no reason – you need medicine!
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The old ones are the best!
Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.
Well pull yourself together!
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