Irish humour… excuses

How to avoid a fine joke Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Excuse if you fall asleep at work:
“This is just a 15 minute power nap like they encouraged on the time management course you sent me to.”

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Kevin was getting irat Irish joke Image copyright Ireland Calling

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One night, Mrs Curran answers the door and her husband’s best friend, Patrick, is standing outside.
“Hello Patrick, where’s my husband? He went with you to the beer factory.”
“Ah, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of stout and drowned.”
Mrs Curran cried “Oh my dear, did he at least go quickly?”
Patrick shakes his head. “Oh dear me no – he got out 3 times to pee!”

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Irish joke I'm not late Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Liam was reading the morning newspaper and was shocked to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Mike.
“Did you see the paper?” asked Liam. “They say I died!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Mike. “Where are you calling from?”

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Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the good news?”
“You’ve got 24 hours to live.”
He says: “What’s the bad news?”
The doctor says: “We should have told you yesterday.”
Frank Carson

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Born free, but now I'm expensive Image copyright Ireland Calling

 

 

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Excuses for not handing in homework;
“I didn’t do my history homework because I don’t believe in dwelling on the past.”

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“My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don’t worry, they have been suitably punished.

Sykes Irish cottages

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Irish jokes on excuses. Image copyright Ireland Calling
HumourIrish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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