Irish humour… advice

Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Murphy didn’t like spending money so he always checked the cost.
“How much to pull a tooth?” he asked the dentist.
“That’ll be 50 euros!”
“What?” says Murphy. “But it will only take you a few minutes.”
“I can make it last an hour if you prefer.”

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What’s the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg?
You let the rottweiler finish.
~ Frank Carson

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Pete had a problem getting up in the morning and was always late for work.
His boss was mad at him and said he was on his last warning.
So Pete went to his doctor who gave him some pills to take before bed.
He slept well and beat the alarm in the morning by a whole hour.
When he arrived at work, he said: “Boss, the pill actually worked!”
“That’s great” said his boss “but where were you yesterday?”

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Humour Irish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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Did you know?

Fans of Game of Thrones can soon visit some of the key filming locations in Northern Ireland, in a move that will provide a huge tourism boost for the area. Find out more.

Have you heard about…

A two-minute film from showcases Irish dancing in all its glory. It sees Cork trio Kieran Hardiman, Alan Kenefick and Ciaran Plummer performing their perfectly choreographed routine around the grounds of University College Cork. Find out more.

What about this…

Female Irish warrior Grainne Ni Mhaile, or Grace O’Malley is one of the most colourful characters in Irish history. Born around 1530, she was a Pirate Queen and became a constant thorn in the side of British Queen Elizabeth I. Find out more.

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