Irish humour… advice

Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Murphy didn’t like spending money so he always checked the cost.
“How much to pull a tooth?” he asked the dentist.
“That’ll be 50 euros!”
“What?” says Murphy. “But it will only take you a few minutes.”
“I can make it last an hour if you prefer.”

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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What’s the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg?
You let the rottweiler finish.
~ Frank Carson

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Pete had a problem getting up in the morning and was always late for work.
His boss was mad at him and said he was on his last warning.
So Pete went to his doctor who gave him some pills to take before bed.
He slept well and beat the alarm in the morning by a whole hour.
When he arrived at work, he said: “Boss, the pill actually worked!”
“That’s great” said his boss “but where were you yesterday?”

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried!

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Irish jokes on advice. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Humour Irish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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Did you know?

An Irish schoolteacher has created a brilliant YouTube video explaining the history of Ireland in just six minutes. It’s brilliantly done and makes learning both fun and engaging for children and also adults. Find out more.

Have you heard about…

Are you a Celt? Or a Gael? Viking or British? Well it might depend on where you come from in Ireland according to a new study. A genetic map has been created by researchers that reveals the impact of immigration, invasion and plantation throughout Irish history. Find out more.

What about this…

The Incredible life of Irish American Molly Brown saw her labelled ‘The Unsinkable Molly Brown’ by the media after surviving several disasters including the sinking of the Titanic. Find out more.

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