Irish humour… laziness

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A boy was invited to have dinner and meet his girlfriend’s parents.
The girl says that after dinner, she would like to go out and have sex for the first time.
The boy is overjoyed and goes to the chemist to buy condoms.
Feeling optimistic, the boy buys the family pack of condoms and thanks the chemist for his advice.
When the boy arrives at his girl’s house, she says: “Oh I’m so excited for you to meet my parents!”
The parents are already at the dinner table.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
Time passes, and MORE time.
Finally, the girlfriend whispers to her boyfriend: “I had no idea you were this religious.”
He whispers back: “I had no idea your father was a chemist!”

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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A leprechaun once offered me the choice of having a great memory or being totally awesome… I forget which one I chose.

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Pete Quinn took his dog to the park every day.
One day his friend saw him without his dog.
“Where’s your dog Pete?” he asked.
“I had to have him put down.”
“Was he mad?” the friend asked.
“Mad? He was furious” replied Pete.
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Irish jokes on laziness. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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I think there should be a Spanish-style siesta in this country – from about half 11 in the morning until Thursday.
~ Ardal O’Hanlon
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Pity the man who makes chocolate fountains for a living.
“How do you keep your employees from eating your profits?”
“I only hire diabetics.”
~ Neil Delamere
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Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Father Ted on holiday


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