Speeding fine stories emerge from time to time on the comedy circuit and social media but we haven’t come across one quite as clever as this when it comes to getting yourself out of trouble and avoiding a ticket.
An elderly man decided he needed to get a little excitement into his life because the years were rolling by and he wasn’t having much fun.
He started by getting himself a brand new sports car with a top speed of 150 miles an hour. He decided to take it out on the open roads through the centre of Ireland and see how long it took him to get from Dublin in the east to Galway in the west.
The car was so smooth he hardly noticed the speed dial moving up but before he knew he was doing more 100 miles an hour. Before he had time to tell himself to slow down he heard the chilling wail of a police motorbike chasing him.
In his panic, he tried to get away. “”I’ve got the fastest car on the road,” he thought. “They’ll never catch me,” and within seconds he was doing 150, leaving the police motorbike struggling to keep up.
After a few minutes though, he began to come to his senses. “”I’m too old for this nonsense,” he thought as he pulled over to the side of the road so he could speak to the garda.
“I’m really sorry officer,” he said as the garda stared at him in disbelief. He was expecting a boy racer, not a grey haired old man.
It seemed to throw young officer off guard because he found himself saying. “Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. I could do without the paperwork of booking you. If you can give me an excuse for your speeding that I haven’t heard before, I’ll let you go.”
“Well,” said the old man. “Years ago, my wife left me for a policeman. When I saw you it reminded me of that terrible time.”
“Well, I can see how that may be upsetting but why did it make you speed?”
“I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, sir,” said the policeman.
Another quick joke
When you’re dating: I can’t wait to see you again.
When you’re married: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed last night.
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