Chocolate Jokes

Delicious facts about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Delicious facts about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

An old man was very ill and nearing his final hours. He noticed the aroma of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself slowly out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.

His wife was just taking the chocolate chip cookies from the oven. With his last bit of energy, he reached for a cookie.

His wife tapped the back of his hand, and said, “Leave them alone, they’re for the funeral!

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Chocolate jokes. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Rob Auton’s joke about a chocolate bar was voted the funniest joke of the Edinburgh fringe. It got 24% of the votes;
“I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
(A Wispa is a chocolate bar).

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A-man-found-a-bottle, Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces. ~ Judith Viorst

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Mammy_Inside-me-is-a-thin-woman Image copyright Ireland Calling

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I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process… It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

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chocolate is-the-answer Image copyright Ireland Calling
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There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. ~ Linda Grayson

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Problem-How-do-I-get-two-pounds-of-chocolate Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.

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Hmm-chocolate Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but it’s chocolate that steals the show.

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Molther-Pat,-there-were-two-chocolate-cakes-in-the Image copyright Ireland Calling

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After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. ~ Mel Gibson

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-There-was-a-piece-of-chocolate-cake Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.

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Chocolate Bridget Irmage copyright Ireland Calling

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When you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

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Chocoalte joke Image copyright Ireland Calling

Read 12 surprising facts about chocolate

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