Top things the Irish would never say

Things the Irish would never say. I'm an only child. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Things the Irish would never say. I'm an only child. Image copyright Ireland Calling

The Irish are popular throughout the world, with millions of people in America, Australia, the UK and elsewhere being of Irish descent. However, some of the stereotypes attached to the Irish, and the way they behave, are not always accurate.

Here is a list compiled by Irish people, of things that they would never say.
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

You know what, our politicians do a great job. They’re honest as the day is long and they’re worth every penny they get. More power to them.

People across the world tend to be cynical about politicians. This particularly true in Ireland during the recession when the country was rocked by some property scandals.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Nah! Don’t bother turning off the immersion heater. It’ll be fine… no chance at all of it blowing up.

Concern over the immersion heater can reach paranoia levels in Ireland. It can spoil a night out as people worry about whether or not they switched it off and whether it will have blown up when they get home. At the time of writing, there hasn’t been a single incident involving an immersion heater blowing up but that doesn’t do anything to ease people’s minds.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Well, would you believe it! It’s started raining… I never saw that coming because the weather was so fine a moment ago.

Irish weather is famously unpredictable. Four seasons in one day is commonplace and so no change in the weather comes as a surprise.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Of course I’m not going to dye my hair… I love it ginger!

It’s a bit of a fallacy that nearly all Irish people have red hair. The vast majority don’t, and sometimes take great delight in teasing the minority who do.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

My mammy never threatened me with the wooden spoon… it holds no fears for me.

The Irish mammy wielding the dreaded wooden spoon is the stuff of Irish legend. Just the thought of it can send a pang fear through the bravest soul.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Aren’t we lucky to have such a great set of bankers… they’re the saviours of this country.

As in many western countries, the popularity of bankers nosedived during the recession when they were blamed for getting the country into unmanageable debt. The Irish people had to endure several years of austerity to clear up the mess blamed on the bankers, which only added to sense of outrage.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

After 10 years learning Irish in school I’m now totally fluent and can easily hold down a conversation.

Many Irish people lament that after learning Irish throughout their school lives, they still can’t speak it properly. As they get older and begin to develop more interest in their country’s culture, some people regret not having paid more attention to Irish lessons.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

No thanks, I couldn’t bear a cup of tea.

The Irish are often portrayed as drinking too much alcohol, but the tea is the real national drink.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

Top o the morning to ya, to be sure, to be sure!

A favourite cliché for anyone wanting to sound Irish… yet it’s a phrase never used in Ireland.

Walkers crisps are much better than Taytos.

Taytos have something of a national treasure status in Ireland. To prefer Walkers from across the water in England is regarded as unpatriotic.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

I’m sick of all this sunshine…wouldn’t a drop of rain be nice for a change.

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

The great thing about St Patrick’s Day is waking up the next day with a clear head and a perfect memory of everything that happened.

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

A single “Bye” At the end of a phone call.

Irish phone call demands that the word bye must be said at least a dozen times.
Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling

I love the Queen. She works so hard. Don’t you long for the days of British rule?

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Top things the Irish would never say. Image copyright Ireland Calling
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