Irish humour… religion

Religion was a huge force in Ireland for centuries so it’s perhaps not surprising that it also became a rich source of humour.

Bishops, priests, nuns and so on were held in great esteem and wielded huge influence. At times, the ordinary people may have turned them into figures of fun to relieve the tension and redress the balance.

Irish humour abounds with jokes about religious figures behaving badly, and with ordinary people trying to escape the tight control of the church. Sometimes the joke is on the church, sometimes it’s on the people. Either way there’s an endless supply of stories, many of them hilarious, some of them irreverent and some of them closer to the truth than many would like to admit. Here are some of our favourite religious jokes.
Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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“I didn’t see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead.”
“That’s not true, vicar. And I’ve got the fish to prove it!”
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Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling

* * *
Two nuns were driving down a road late at night. Suddenly a vampire jumped out in front of the car.
The first nun said: “Quick! Show him your cross!”
The second nun, showing how angry she was, shouted: “Get out of the way you… you… awful, awful thing!”
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Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Click here to see more of Hal Roach’s brilliant jokes

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I’m an Atheist…thank God.
~ Dave Allen
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Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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As Quinn was entering Kehoe’s bar, a nun, Sister Mary said:
“Surely you’re not going to waste your hard-earned money on the evil drink? Why don’t you go home to your wife and family?”
“But, Sister” said Quinn. “How can draw such a conclusion when you’ve never taken a drink?”
“You’re right” said Sister Mary. “Clearly, I can’t go into the pub, so can you bring me out some gin. Put it in a cup not a glass to camouflage the drink!”
Quinn went up to the bar. “Can I have a large gin please, and can you put it in a cup?”
“Oh dear” said the barman. “Sister Mary’s not outside again is she?”
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Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling

* * *
The school children were drawing pictures of Bible stories.
Maggie’s picture, showed four people in a plane, the teacher asked which story they were from.
“The flight to Egypt” said Maggie.
“That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who’s the fourth person?” asked the teacher.
“That’s Pontius the Pilot.”
* * *

Irish jokes on religion. Image copyright Ireland Calling
HumourIrish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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