Irish humour…life

Life can be tough at times, but then when we consider the alternative, we’re happy to muddle along. Some of the best humour comes from reflecting on the ups and downs of everyday life. Irish comedians like Dave Allen made a complete career out of highlighting life’s ironies and contradictions… but it’s not only professional comedians. There’s a host of jokes and stories from anonymous sources that capture the humour to be found in the simple process of getting through each day.
Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire.
And what do they give us? A clock.
~ Dave Allen
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Irish jokes on life. image copyright Ireland Calling

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I thought swimming was good for your figure until I saw what it does to whales.
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Sherlock Holmes joke. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Lab technicians in Ireland have started using politicians instead of rats when carrying out experiments.
There are pros and cons. The politicians aren’t as intelligent as the rats and they’re harder to train.
On the other hand, the technicians don’t get as emotionally involved with them.
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I thought about giving up smoking, but decided not to – I’m not a quitter.
~ Ed Byrne

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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I like the Ten Commandments but I have a problem with the ninth. It should be – Thou shalt not covet they neighbour’s ox, except in Scrabble.
~ David O’Doherty
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Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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When you phone a wrong number it’s never engaged.
~ Roy Walker
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Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her: “Do you know him?”
“Yes” she sighed, “he’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…

Shamrocks. Image copyright Ireland Calling
Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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A man walks into B&Q. He says: “I want some nails.”
The shop worker says: “How long do you want them?”
The man says: “I want to keep them.”
~ Frank Carson
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A man up in front of a judge says: “I don’t recognise this court.”
“Why not?”
“It’s been redecorated since the last time I was here.”
~ Frank Carson
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Irish jokes on life. Image copyright Ireland Calling

HumourIrish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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