Irish humour… chocolate

Ah chocolate… how we love it. Whether it’s cheap supermarket offers or expensive Belgian truffles for special occasions, we just can’t get enough of it.

We give our favourite chocolate bars spectacular space age names like Milky Way, Mars and Galaxy. Brand names like Snickers, M&Ms, Reese’s, Hershey’s and Kit Kat become household names in their home countries.

We even organise chocolate festivals so we can sample new treats and re-acquaint ourselves with old ones. But it’s not always plain sailing is it? The chocolate treat we love today we may regret tomorrow as we start to pile on the pounds… perhaps sparking the need for dieting and weight-watching.

With chocolate being such a bitter-sweet indulgence, it’s perhaps not surprising that it has inspired so many jokes. These are some of our favourites… guaranteed to get you giggling as you relax with your favourite chocolate bar.
Irish joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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Among life’s mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds.
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Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
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Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst
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Irish joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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An old man was very ill and nearing his final hours. He noticed the aroma of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulled himself slowly out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.
His wife was just taking the chocolate chip cookies from the oven. With his last bit of energy, he reached for a cookie.
His wife tapped the back of his hand, and said: “Leave them alone, they’re for the funeral!”
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Irish joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.
Linda Grayson
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After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.
Mel Gibson
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Irish joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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2013 Funniest Joke of the Fringe
I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.
Rob Auton
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Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
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Irish joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling

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An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man loved peanuts.
One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldn’t resist and went to the old man’s jar and ate over half the peanuts.
When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts.
The old man responded: “That’s OK. Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.”
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Homer Simpson joke about chocolate. Image copyright Ireland Calling
HumourIrish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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