Irish bull is a phrase describing humorous sayings that take contradictory ideas and clash them together for comic effect. The origin of the term is uncertain but it may have come from the Irish liking for wordplay. However, great examples of Irish bull phrases can be found all over the world. Here are some of the best and the most famous.
Yogi Berra
The legendary America baseball player Yogi Berra made some classic Irish bull statements. These are some of the best.
A waitress once asked him if he wanted his pizza cut into four or eight slices. Berra replied: “Better make it four. I don’t think I can eat eight pieces.”
Sometimes you can observe a lot by watching.
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Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
Ninety-nine percent of this game is half mental
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Half the lies they tell me aren’t true.
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
You have a great future, even if the future isn’t what it used to be.
Berra speaking to a group of students.
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Sam Goldwyn
Movie producer Sam Goldwyn produced many Irish bull gems. When speaking of one his top stars he said: “We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it.”
When celebrating the success of one his movies he said: “If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.”
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Accept me for what I am — completely unacceptable. Ashleigh Brilliant, English cartoonist
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All those without arms, please raise your hands! Attributed to an army sergeant addressing recruits
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Deep down, this guy is really shallow. Jim Hightower , American columnist
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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. Anonymous
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I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous. Anonymous
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I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Anonymous
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I’m a deeply superficial person. Andy Warhol
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain
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The English comedian Bob Monkhouse produced this clever contradiction when talking about his early struggle and his eventual spectacular success: “Everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now!”
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It’s unlucky to be superstitious. Ashleigh Brilliant, English cartoonist
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Never listen to advice. Anonymous
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. Anonymous
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Predestination was doomed from the start. Anonymous
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There’s no future in time travel. Anonymous
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It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
All images copyright Ireland Calling
