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Fathers are special – they hold a unique place in our hearts

He taught us to play ball, fixed our bikes when the chain came off, picked us up so we could touch the ceiling, and loved us.

He became our ‘taxi-driver’ taking us to swimming classes, football training, gym classes when we were young. Then he drove us to friends’ houses or parties when we were older, and  always worried that we would be safe and happy, but knowing he had to give us our independence and be able to make some mistakes and learn from them.

He imparted knowledge and fairness and most of all he loved  us.

Here are some of our favourite poems, jokes about fathers.


* * *

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

* * *

Fathers Day Son_Why-are-some-of-Image copyright Ireland Calling

Joe: What does your father do for a living?
Pete: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Pete: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

* * *


* * *

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

* * *


* * *

When Pete found he was going to inherit a fortune when his ill father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man, but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit a fortune.”

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.

Three days later, she became his stepmother.

* * *


Why don’t some fathers have a mid-life crisis?
A: They’re stuck in adolescence.

* * *

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.
“ Which bus would I take home?”

* * *

And here’s some things your father never said

10-things-father-never-said Image copyright Ireland Calling Image Ireland Calling

Humour Irish shamrocks. Image Copyright - Ireland Calling

All images are copyright Ireland Calling.

Many of the jokes we show we have written ourselves, others are well known old favourites and some may have been written by people we simply cannot trace and so cannot credit. Please contact us if you feel any of this material is yours and we will be happy to attribute it.

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